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Dog Passes Out From Overwhelming Joy When This Girl Comes Home After Two Years

When this schnauzer saw a familiar face after two whole years away, the pet could barely keep it together.

Watch the video above posted by Rebecca Ehalt to see what happiness looks like. It really is too much to handle for the little pooch who whimpers with pure joy until it’s time to lie down.

A description of the video, which was uploaded on Thursday, notes “the schnauzer was taken to the vet, the vet saw the video, and everything is fine.”

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Not getting what I need at home.

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I am a very adventurous and outgoing woman looking to explore my sexuality. I think there is always more to do and learn when it comes to sex and I am ready for it all, unfortunately my husband isn't. So I am here to find a man who is willing to try anything ) I just need a man to get me into it. If you are into sex a lot and think you could show me a thing or two I would really like to hear from you.

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What I’m Looking For

I would like a guy that is experienced and can teach me new and different things when we are together…can you make it more exciting? That's the question. Let me know what you think you can do for me…

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Frank Caliendo Reads LeBron James’ “Coming Home” Letter in Morgan Freeman’s Voice: Watch and You’re Welcome

Morgan Freeman, Frank CaliendoIs it the weekend yet? Because we’re not sure how much more work we can accomplish after watching this video.

And surely LeBron James is wondering, “Why didn’t I think of…

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Big Brother Recap: Ariana Grande’s Brother Frankie Learns Of His Grandfather’s Death & Another Houseguest Goes Home

Big Brother“Will Team America lose a member tonight?” the Chenbot asked, and we scoffed.

If the houseguests vote Donny out tonight, we will literally eat our foot (or we will delete this…

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Big Brother Recap: Another House Guest Goes Home – Plus, the Most Boring HoH Competition of All Time

Big BrotherDing dong, the witch is dead! Of course, by “witch,” we mean Devin, and by “dead,” we mean finally evicted, as we assumed he would be. However, his demise didn’t seem quite so…

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Human Experiments on Extant, SYTYCD Sends 2 Dancers Home & More OMG TV Moments

Extant, Brad BeyerSpace ghosts! Human dice! Dancing! Tonight’s TV had it all and more as Extant dove head-first into whatever is going on with the future of space travel, SYTYCD sent two more…

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hello everyone im needing so attention cause it sure isnt happening at home so come keep me company

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Im 22 been married for 5 yrs i have a 3 yr old and an 8 month oldþwanna know more just ask i am an open. book and enjoy meeting new people and just wanna have a little fun while im still young. and yes i love my husband but its more like we are roommates and i need a little more than that lol )

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What I’m Looking For

Someone sweet out going loving open minded and someone who wants to have fun just needing something new in my life and maybe ill get it here ) we will see ) im very excited to meet people

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Conductor Lorin Maazel dies at Va. home at 84

Conductor Lorin Maazel, led New York Philharmonic and other orchestras, dies at age 84
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Cash Cash Talks Growing Up, Dishes on Hit ‘Take Me Home’ With Bebe Rexha

Wednesday night, Billboard’s Senior Branding Correspondent Andrew Hampp lead an interview with Big Beat/Atlantic production trio Cash Cash at the…
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Dolly Parton’s ‘Glassie’ Goes Home

Last week’s Glastonbury Music Festival performance by Dolly Parton was witnessed by more than 100000 people but when all was said and done one lonely pooch nearly stole the spotlight from the iconic entertainer See Where Dolly Lands on Our 100 Greatest Singers List A fluffy white pup that had been separated…

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Chats With Ivan Neville and The Berman Brothers, Plus Exclusives by Genevieve Bellemare, Home Video and Dream Alive


photo courtesy of Aremide

According to Genevieve Bellemare…

“This song was written with Mitchell Froom. He sent me the keyboard and drum intro you hear in the beginning. I remember him either saying something about radiohead or me thinking radiohead. Whatever it was it attracted me. I didn’t know if i could do anything with the song because I had the whole radiohead thing in the back of my mind so it was intimidating. But I remember I was home and i was on my couch on the computer and I kept repeating it over and over and over. I finally started mumbling the melody you hear on the chorus ‘I live and die, I live and die.’ In the next session I had with Mitchell, we were trying to add new parts and new melodies to the song. Mitchell said, ‘It sounds like you are saying I live and die, I live and die,’ and he said that he really liked that. We both thought it was a cool concept for a song. At first, I thought this is way too dramatic for me to be singing, but then I recorded it actually singing those words, and then it felt perfect. After that, the rest of the lyrics came really easily. ‘Live and Die,’ I think, is a similar concept to hiding space. But more desecrate lyrically.”

A Conversation with Ivan Neville

Mike Ragogna: So, sir, what the heck have you been up to?

Ivan Neville: I’ve bleen doing a little bit of this, a little bit of that, you know. I’m playing with my band Dumpstaphunk and doing other stuff, a few recording sessions here and there. I guess you know I did this video recently with The Young Presidents.

MR: Yes, and you might say it was a very “Time”-ly video, wasn’t it?

IN: [laughs] Yeah, it was called “Time.”

MR: Let’s talk about The Young Presidents. What is the origin of this auspicious gathering?

IN: These guys were friends with a buddy of mine by the name of Rob Fraboni. Rob Fraboni produced their record, and that’s kind of how I got involved. I know Rob, me and Rob have done stuff over the years. He gave me a call initially to come and play on their record, me and some amazing musicians. Anton Fig plays drums on most of it, Blondie Chaplin was on some stuff… Blondie and I have done some stuff together in the past. We both have a connection to The Rolling Stones, which is pretty cool, as does Rob Fabroni. Also Cory Glover from Living Colour, he was involved. Basically, we did a record. A few of us sang songs. Cory sang, Blondie sang, we sang some stuff together, and I sang the lead vocal on the song “Time.” Then they contacted me and said my boy Jonathan McHugh, who is a very dear friend that I’ve known for a long time, he was involved in the making of this video. He had a lot to do with the story line and things of that nature. I got a call that they wanted to do this video in my home town in New Orleans and since I’m singing the song, I could be in it. I’m like, “Absolutely, man.” So he came to New Orleans and we shot some cool stuff in a bunch of cool spots and there you go.

MR: Every time I interview you, there’s always something new that you’re picking up. Did you pick up anything new from this experience that might affect your music creatively?

IN: I’m always trying to pick up and learn stuff. I’ve been doing the music thing for a long time and I want to keep on learning and keep on picking up and gathering up and borrowing and whatnot. From this, I got an appreciation for some of the sights and sounds of my own city. It was kind of cool that they shot footage down here and had me go and do stuff like be around surroundings that I was comfortable with. They wanted me to be a part of it and they made sure that I was comfortable in my surroundings and it was perfect. That’s one major thing I took from it.

MR: What do you think they took from you?

IN: [laughs] I don’t know. Hopefully, I added a little something to it, brought a little something to the table. I’ve got a decent little singing voice, and my charm and my good looks, hopefully that carried me a long way.

MR: [laughs] This is a bit of a new direction for you, so where do you see this leading? Will it open the door to other things?

IN: I have done some live things with the Young Presidents and I probably will do some live things in the future when time permits–there we go with time again–when I’m not doing Dumpstaphunk or various other projects that I may be involved in. But I like those guys–Jake [Hertzog] and Mitch [Kaneff]. They’re good musicians and fortunately for me, I got to participate in some cool songs and the music’s good. That’s always a plus. We do this thing called “music” because we love it and we’re lucky that we get to make a living doing it as well. Everything’s up in the air. You never know what could come of this.

MR: Ivan, how’s your family?

IN: Everybody’s cool. I’ve got two brothers and a sister down here in New Orleans and my dad lives up in New York, everybody’s cool. I’ve got a daughter who lives in California and I’ve got a fairly new son who lives here in New Orleans.

MR: In your opinion, what’s the state of New Orleans these days?

IN: New Orleans is doing well. There’s the devastation that occurred here close to nine years ago, and it will never be forgotten. There’s some loss that we will never recover, but New Orleans, as a city and as a region and as a people is doing business, man. It’s doing great down here. Music’s going on, food’s going on, and as you can see every year, jazz festivals are killing. Mardi Gras is a pretty good time. New Orleans is rolling. We lost some lives down here when Katrina happened. People lost their homes and had to go other places and start lives elsewhere, so we lost them. We lost a lot of communities, some of the neighborhoods. But people get back up. New Orleans is one of the places where the people here are resilient like that, and they keep going. Things are doing great in New Orleans right now. We’re about to get ready for another hurricane season, now. It happens once a year. We’ll see what happens this year. Hopefully nothing too bad will happen down here.

MR: Because of the charm and beauty of New Orleans and its very rich history, there are a lot of kids who dream about making music there. Have a lot of new, young artists been arriving in town lately?

IN: Oh yeah, there’s always a little rush of cats who might move here from different places or maybe they come out here to go to school and they start digging on the music scene and they try to get involved, there’s always some new blood that starts flowing down here. You’ve got our home-grown youngsters who are doing very well, like Trombone Shorty–they’ve been around for a while but I look at them like they’re young. Rebirth Brass band has been around thirty years, but we’re that next generation, we’re not as old as my dad and those guys. Then you’ve got some others that are coming along, you’ve got a couple of groups that have been around for a while and some up and comers, it’s constantly growing around here, the music scene is always evolving, you’ve got a couple of new bands that can show off or a new group of musicians that start playing around, it’s just an ever-evolving thing we’ve got going on here.

MR: What advice do you have for new artists?

IN: Just do it. Do it often and as much as you possibly can, learn as much as you can about the business aspect of music and just keep doing it, man, hone your craft. Do your thing.

MR: What about Ivan Neville? What would you tell Ivan Neville right now? What’s he supposed to be doing?

IN: [laughs] Keep doing it. Keep honing your craft, Ivan. Keep singing, keep praciticing, keep listening. Keep listening. Keep learning.

MR: All right, so what does the future hold for Ivan?

IN: Oh, I’ve got stuff going on. Dumpstaphunk’s continuing to spread the funk–that’s my main group I’ve got going on now with my little cousin Ian Neville, Tony Hall, Nick Daniels III, and we’re just continuing to do what we do. We’re probably going to be doing some new music very soon, to put out another studio record. We’ve got some live stuff that we’ll be looking at in the near future and there’s some other side stuff that I’ve got going on. We’ll just see what happens.

MR: Nice. Is there anything else to mention that we didn’t talk about yet?

IN: I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but if I think of something I’ll call you back. [laughs]

MR: You’ve got it! You’re awesome. Thanks.

IN: Thanks, man.

Transcribed by Galen Hawthorne


photo credit: Land Coder

“The latest music video from Brooklyn-based indie/electronica duo Home Video. ‘Forget’ is the lead single from the band’s fourth album Here In Weightless Fall, out now on Dash Go. The follow-up to 2010′s The Automatic Process, spends a lot of time discussing disenfranchisement, apathy and the intersection of the personal and the political. ‘Forget’ takes a look specifically at the idea of consumer culture and how we construct and buy into ways of forgetting about real-life stress, in favor of packaged, mindless promises of numbness. Home Video’s Collin Ruffino notes, ‘We are all a collection of the products we own and the image we cultivate. We are all afraid to engage with one another face to face for fear of the messy unpredictability of human emotion. But I think this causes great psychic pain, for which we invent pharmaceuticals, to dampen that pain, so that we can be useful units of profit-making and perpetuate the cycle.’

“Ruffino also directed the video for ‘Forget’ with help from Yvonne Jones (Director of Photography/Producer), Nathaniel Cunningham (Editor) and David Gross (Assistant Director). ‘The video for Forget tries to encompass many of the themes of the album,’ notes Ruffino. ‘We tried to tie the political to the personal in the narrative of the album. There is nothing that speaks to this better than the maintenance of the human psyche that our pharmaceutical-embracing society represents.’

“The video for ‘Forget’ takes a closer look at the role pharmaceuticals play in our modern culture, in that the characters in the video use a ‘Forget’ chip to wash away the struggles and pains of everyday life and relationships in favor of the monochrome, faceless, easily digested, corporation-saturated modern world. It’s wry social commentary, balanced between ominous and satire.”

Website: http://homevideo.fm
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/homevideoband
Twitter: https://twitter.com/homevideoband


A Conversation with The Berman Brothers

Mike Ragogna: Chris and Frank, where did the idea to transplant this group of artists into a Brazilian genre come from and what motivated you to put this project together?

Chris Berman: We were always huge fans of Brazilian music since a very long time, since the eighties. Frank and I were living in London and we were going to these really amazing rave parties at night and there were always Brazilian musicians playing along. Also on the other side, the really beautiful melodic structure of songs, that love of Brazilian music was there all the time. We also have this huge, huge love for those classic, iconic American songs from the sixties and seventies like those of Billie Holiday and Aretha Franklin or Sly & The Family Stone. One day, Frank and I were sitting in Berlin and Billie Holiday was running in the background somewhere from an apartment far away. We could only hear the voice for some reason. It was a beautiful summery day and the idea was born–how would it sound to put some easy going bossa nova beats or some smash salsa beats behind it? Brazilian music is so tasteful, so elegant. It needs an elegant counterpart in the melody. That was when we thought, “What happens if we blend these two worlds together,” the beauty of the classic American vocal performances of Billie Holiday or Aretha Franklin or Sly Stone with that sultry, really fantastic intelligent Brazilian backbone.

MR: To be honest, your new recording of “Sexual Healing” is my preferred version now because you’ve removed the dated electronics and given it this new sensuous world.

CB: For some reason a lot of these songs sound like they’ve been recorded in Brazil in the first place. It was an amazing experience to go down to Brazil with all these musicians. On the one side they started very naive because they thought, “We have to give the right sound to these songs,” but on the other side they had this respect for all of the artists so they knew they had to do it right. “If we go to these classic songs, we have to give all we can in order to make them really sound as beautiful as possible.”

MR: The Dave Brubeck and Carmen McRae track was a brilliant merging of three worlds. Can you give us an example of the production process?

CB: The problem was we only had a stereo track on this recording, so we really had to go dig in, take the vocals out and take, for example, the saxophone solo out. Then we went into the studio and kind of did it as if they were part of the room. We let the vocal play and the saxophone play and the band was playing along in the recording room, very similar to how they did the original recording; all in one room. After we had the vocals isolated, it was very important to us to let the band play along in different rooms together like a real recording session and give the natural feel of recording. There are not really too many overdubs. These days, you start with one track and then go to another and another and musicians don’t really play along. We really thought in order to give the original vocals that respect, we had to play along with the vocals. We had everybody in one room with a click track to keep the rhythm going and only the vocal. They played along with Carmen McRae singing and Paul Desmond playing the saxophone later on.

MR: You must have had access to some of the multis, though, right?

CB: Yeah. Luckily, we got multi-tracks for a few, for example, we got Sly & The Family Stone’s multi-track and Marvin Gaye’s multi-track. We really only used the voices. One thing that’s amazing to hear is how fantastically these vocals were recorded in the first place, especially with Marvin Gaye. In the eighties, everything was cluttered with delay and reverb and sometimes, I think you don’t really hear what a fantastic singer he is in the first place. Having the chance to take his vocals without effects and purely let the musicians play along, I think it enhanced the feeling of them all being together in one room and jamming along in a studio in Rio.

MR: Beautiful. Hey Frank, how are you?

Frank Berman: I’m wonderful. I don’t have the best position, that’s why I’m quiet.

MR: How did you work together on the project? What were the assigned duties?

FB: We both love music, but I’m more the one trying to talk to the record companies and to find the right studios for the musicians. Christian is the music guy who loves sitting for twenty-four hours, spending night and day in the studio with the musicians, getting the best out of them, getting the best out of the taping. He’s very hands-on in the studio and I’m more hands-on with the business. We do the creative part together, so it’s more of getting the product out to the right people, finding the right parts, and getting the right song. Each of us have our separate roles but in general, we did everything together. The main decisions we did together and then we split up in separate parts.

MR: Have you worked this way on every other project?

FB: In the beginning, we wanted a band together and that was a disaster because we both were playing and doing the same work. Luckily, I stopped playing and then we started selling records.

MR: So Studio Rio is really the two of you and whatever Rio musicians could be assembled for these projects.

CB: Yes. They’re very fantastic musicians, all together about twenty different musicians and four amazing arrangers, too, who really gave that Brazilian feel. Every note on this record is recorded in Brazil. There are no overdubs in New York or London or anywhere else. We really wanted to capture the Brazilian feel and spirit and the authentic vibe.

MR: And having the band play to the vocal kept the authenticity. Nice. Do you have any studio stories?

CB: One little story that I always have to tell because I love it is one of the drummers is named Paulo Braga. He used to be a drummer for all the big records. We called him and as you can hear, we sometimes talk a little fast and things get lost here and there. We invited him to come to the studio to play along with the track “You’ve Changed,” but he, for some reason, misunderstood the fact that he’s actually playing to Billie Holiday, so he comes into the studio, he sets up his recording gear, and then we press “record” and the music starts. Everybody plays along and all of a sudden he hears the voice. He thinks that some girl’s singing like Billie Holiday, and then all of a sudden, he recognizes, “That is Billie Holiday I’m playing with!” You could see his eyes got really wet; he nearly had tears. For one little second, he skips the beat, and then he plays along all the way to the end and that’s the take that we took for the record because it was so emotional. Then later, he was like, “You guys are so crazy, you didn’t tell me it was really Billie Holiday.” That was a nice moment.

MR: Were there any people who told you while you were putting this together that you were out of your mind?

CB: A lot of them.

MR: There are a couple of songs on the project that feel even more appropriately interpreted in this setting than their own original arrangements. I won’t name them to protect the innocent.

CB: [laughs] I know, but I think if you’re in Rio or Ipanema at night and the sun is going down and you have a little drink in your hand, that big city urban feel at the beach, that combination is really the feel of the song. It’s a Rio night song. It’s that cool, drive around with the windows open at the water feel. It kind of had to be done that way down there, it’s really funny.

MR: You took on a song that was originally recorded reggae, Johnny Nash’s “I Can See Clearly Now,” and the jazz-islandy Bill Withers hit, “Lovely Day.” I was surprised to see how naturally they were prone to go further south than Jamaica and the Caribbean.

CB: [laughs] We tried a lot of songs, so the ones you hear are the ones that really worked out, the ones the musicians and arrangers felt were fantastic. We felt, “Oh wow, this is the great combination between the authentic Brazilian sound and something the Western mentality can enjoy, too.” We have both worlds going. The Brazilians are proud of it and we think, “Wow, this is a hit, it’s fantastic.” These songs really work perfectly to bring them even more south. They’re already so positive lyrically and musically enchanting, so that really helped to find the right arrangement around them.

FB: Not every song did work in a Brazilian arrangement, so we also had a few where we decided they should not get on the record.

MR: Out of curiosity, what were a couple of those?

FB: I’d prefer not to name any, but definitely, a lot don’t work because of rhythms or speeds. There’s definitely a fine line between where it really sounds convincing and perfect or where it sounds more like a cover band. We only took the songs that really made a great impression.

MR: I’m surprised that “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey didn’t make the cut. An oversight?

Both: [laughs]

FB: That was our number one choice!

MR: Another thing that was amazing was your taking the squarest possible recording of the project, Andy Williams’ take on “Music To Watch Girls By,” and you hipped it up.

FB: A big credit really goes to Rio because we had this place we called our local office there. It was a coffee shop one street away from the ocean. We had our laptops with us and tons of songs and we were sitting there in the right mood and the right atmosphere and we’d listen to the songs and decide, “This could work, this could work.” That’s why a lot of surprising songs are on the list that wouldn’t have worked if we’d done the project in America. You need that Brazilian atmosphere, the cars dirivng by with the Brazilian music coming out of them. That’s where you get these inspirations.

MR: And there are a couple of songs where the horns are playing straight through. When I heard that, I thought, “Boy, that’s a lot of horns.” Then I realized you guys were trying to capture the power of what was going on in the arrangement, so the horn attacks expressed it in a way that no other instrument would have been able to.

CB: Sometimes the backbeat in Brazil is subtle, it’s sometimes hard to create really big excitement with a Brazilian beat. So we took the horns to give a little element of intensity and drama to that. But really the funny thing is that the Brazilian horn arrangers did even more arrangements, so we had to mute a lot of things.

MR: Are any of the artists you used aware of this project’s final results yet?

FB: Yes, Bill Withers and his people are very, very happy. We had to get rights from all the artists and so far, no complaints at all.

MR: Where is this heading? Might Studio Rio put out volumes of reworks over the next ten years?

FB: We have a few great ideas for a second album. We have to do the second album because there’s one or two great songs we couldn’t finish in time. It will be an ongoing ten piece collection. The second part, I think, will be very nice.

MR: Will Studio Rio move from label to label to explore the potential of different catalogs in the future?

FB: No, I think we’re very happy. The Sony catalog is ongoing and really beautiful, there is so much stuff. We can even move a little up in the age or a little back in the age. There are many different approaches if it comes to a second part, but we’re very happy where we are.

MR: I made a joke about using Journey earlier, but there may really be some rock that may surprise you, for instance Bruce Springsteen or Bob Dylan or someone similar.

FB: We have already one totally crazy one. When people hear the combination, they think it’s crazy, but it works great. We’ll save it for next year.

MR: What advice do you have for new artists?

FB: Be very independent, be responsible for your own career, find a good team around you and persistence and talent is equal in these days.

CB: I think that’s something. I have a friend here, she’s so talented and maybe fifteen years ago, she would’ve been picked up by a major label and had a deal. But now, she’s just lacking that last drive of intesity to go out and really go for yourself. I think she will not make it because of that. There’s another friend I have and she’s a singer-songwriter and maybe her talent is not as really wonderful, but she’s so on her career. She does everything right to put herself as an artist out there and I think she will make it. I think in these days where independent artists have such a great opportunity, I think the industry is creating a lot of problems, but also creating a lot of opportunity for young artists. If they use the new world as their tool, they can really go far.

Transcribed by Galen Hawthorne


photo credit: Irving Ong

According to Dream Alive’s team…

“Los Angeles-based rock band Dream Alive–Nik Phoeniks (lead vocals / keyboard), Ramon Ryder (rhythm guitar / vocals), Karan Parikh (lead guitar / vocals), Martin Fredriksson (bass) and Stanley Love (drums)–is set to release its debut album, Before The Dawn, on July 29th. The record features eight soaring tracks melding sounds ranging from psychedelic to cinematic, bridging the musicality between the band’s classic rock roots in Journey and Pink Floyd and their modern rock influences of Muse and Coldplay.”

“‘See You Tonight’ is a high-energy, melodic tune that reflects the feelings of longing, lust and excitement,’ explains Dream Alive’s Ramon Ryder. ‘It’s the musical representation of the butterflies you feel in your stomach when thinking of someone you really like. The video shows the band performing inside a dark warehouse and outside on the sunny streets of downtown Los Angeles. We love how the two locations are both simultaneously gritty and beautiful, reflecting the highs and lows of love.’”

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Eric Hill’s Death Puts Andi and the Guys In Tears and Another Suitor Heads Home on The Bachelorette

The BacheloretteIt’s hometown dates night, aka one of the most notoriously entertaining episodes of all Bachelor Nation, but it’s also a sad night as host Chris Harrison informs Andi, Nick, Chris, Josh,…

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‘Walking Dead’ Brick Building Sets Help Bring The Zombie Apocalypse Home

Are you ready to build the dead? McFarlane Toys is launching a new line of construction sets (think: high end Legos) for “The Walking Dead,” and we’ve got all the details.

The 10 Most Underutilized Spaces In Your Home

No matter the square footage of your home, the hunt for a little extra space will ensue every now and then. The go-to solution, typically, is to haul items off to local storage facility until you can figure your space issues out. As tempting as that may be, there’s a good chance there are a couple spots you’re overlooking (and underutilizing) right within your home. Whether it’s a place to display a few extra odds and ends or a hidden room you didn’t know you had, these places are just begging to get the attention they finally deserve.

Above the door. If you think you’ve run out of space, look up. There tends to be extra space at the tops of doors, bookshelves and other vertical structures that are ideal for storage.

above the door

The attic. Contrary to popular belief, the attic does not only function as an in-home storage unit or a clutter graveyard. Clear it out and you’ll have an extra bedroom or hideaway office in no time.


On the bookshelves themselves. When wall space is scarce, go ahead and hang things directly on the front of your storage units. Consider it a bold, new approach to displaying your best pieces.


The closet. Using a closet for nothing else but coats, shoes and cleaning products is so last year. Turn the space into a desk, reading nook or craft station. And as an added bonus, look at the doors as additional hanging room for everything from mail to art.


The foot of the bed. Everyone knows that stashing odds and ends under the bed is a great way to carve out more space in the bedroom, but you can’t incorporate extra seating and additional storage down there, now can you?

foot of bed

The fireplace. Instead of letting it go unnoticed during the nine months out of the year that aren’t winter, use it as the basis for a beautiful vignette.


That awkward nook… It’s time to stop seeing those quirky spaces as inconveniences — create a small sitting area or vibrant entryway feature.


Under the stairs. While you might not necessarily have the room down there to turn this space into a bedroom or office, it’s still a great little area for a home bar, work station or more.

under stairs

Below the coffee table. Everyone knows there’s nothing better than a beautifully decorated coffee table — but what about underneath it? Use this spot to collect all the things that don’t fit on top or work with your design scheme.

below table

The windowsill. From seating to an extra place to pile books, windowsills are a naturally beautiful spot to start using for something other than catching curtains.


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1776 Reasons To Party At Home On July 4th

It’s time to switch things up, America!

This year, forget the same old parties and boring routine. Here are 1776 reasons why staying home and watching TV is all you need to have the best 4th of July weekend ever.

  1. Because all men have the right to life, liberty and “The Pursuit of Happyness” On Demand.
  2. Because it’s what our Founding Fathers would have wanted.
  3. Because if not, what were our guys fighting for anyway?
  4. Because TV is the best.
  5. Because winter is coming.
  6. Because relatives are coming.
  7. Because parties are awkward and uncomfortable.
  8. Because some parties are too comfortable.
  9. Because you’re alive.
  10. Because other people are alive.
  11. Because you’re too full from eating ribs.
  12. Because you’re not full enough from eating ribs.
  13. Just because of ribs.
  14. Because the color red.
  15. Because the color white.
  16. Because the color blue.
  17. Because America just red, white and blew our minds.
  18. Because “Today I don’t feel like doing anything.”
  19. Because you’ll be lounging on the couch, just chillin in your snuggie. Turn on MTV so they can teach you how to Dougie.
  20. Because of Independence.
  21. Because of the movie “Independence Day.”
  22. Because of the speech Bill Pullman made in “Independence Day.”
  23. Because Will Smith bought his fiancé a dolphin ring in the movie “Independence Day.”
  24. Because Will Smith’s fiancé liked her dolphin ring in the movie “Independence Day.”
  25. Because now you’re going to buy a ring for your fiancé that’s in the shape of a dolphin.
  26. Because what happened to “Miss Independent”?
  27. Because the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
  28. Because seven-time hot dog eating champ Joey “Jaws” Chestnut.
  29. Because Ryan Seacrest is all “This is American Idol!”
  30. Because it’s what George Washington would’ve wanted.
  31. Because it’s what George Washington does want currently.
  32. Because Patrick Henry would say, “Give me television or give me death.”
  33. Because “One if by land, and ‘Two and a Half Men’ if by sea.”
  34. Because there’s probably “World Series of Poker” on or something.
  35. Because Benedict Arnold wouldn’t want to, and we don’t like that guy.
  36. Because “Hey Arnold!”
  37. Because Helga Pataki’s unibrow.
  38. Because “I have not yet begun to fight … for the remote.”
  39. Because “Don’t fire until you see the Walter Whites of their eyes”
  40. Because American spy Nathan Hale learned everything he knew from “Harriet the Spy.”
  41. Because American spy Nathan Hale regretted that he had just “One Life to Live” for his country.
  42. Because of sparklers.
  43. Because sparklers can get out of hand real fast.
  44. Because with sparklers, you can write your name and stuff.
  45. Because of patriots.
  46. Because of the New England Patriots.
  47. Because of Tom Brady.
  48. Because of Tom Brady’s UGGs for men.
  49. Because Tom Brady never looked so comfortable in the pocket.
  50. Because of the movie “The Patriot.”
  51. Because Mel Gibson wasn’t crazy yet in the movie “The Patriot.”
  52. Because Mel Gibson never wore UGGs for men in “The Patriot.”
  53. Because Mel Gibson was all over his sister-in-law in “The Patriot,” and then Jaime and Cersei had to one-up him in “Game of Thrones.”
  54. Because Heath Ledger was in the movie “The Patriot.”
  55. Because Health Ledger was the Joker in “The Dark Knight.”
  56. Because “The Dark Knight” was awesome.
  57. Because of “The Dark Knight” again.
  58. Because the 4th of July is whatever Gotham needs it to be.
  59. Because of patriotic clothing.
  60. Because you don’t want anyone to see you in your patriotic clothing.
  61. Because your dad has the most patriotic clothing of them all.
  62. Because people are pledging allegiance to your dad’s shirt.
  63. Because of socks with stars on them.
  64. Because of stars with socks on them.
  65. Because your Hogwarts letter won’t come on a holiday.
  66. Because you want to entertain your family.
  67. Because your family is getting on your nerves.
  68. Because not watching TV is getting on your nerves.
  69. Because you pinched a nerve.
  70. Because Grandma wants to watch EWTN.
  71. Because the World Cup, duh.
  72. Because you’re already eating off TV trays.
  73. Because you want to eat off TV trays.
  74. Because you’re really excited.
  75. Because you’re bored.
  76. Because fireworks are overrated.
  77. Because fireworks on TV are underrated.
  78. Because if you’ve seen one firework, you’ve seen them all.
  79. Because fireworks hurt your ears.
  80. Because fireworks hurt your eyes.
  81. Because the fireworks aren’t good.
  82. Because the fireworks might be too good.
  83. Because there were no blue fireworks.
  84. Because there were too many blue fireworks.
  85. Because everyone else is finally out of the house.
  86. Because everyone is in the house.
  87. Because it’s too hot outside.
  88. Because it’s too cold outside.
  89. Because you didn’t buy AC for nothing.
  90. Because you did buy AC for nothing.
  91. Because you’re out of potato salad.
  92. Because you wish you were out of potato salad.
  93. Because you don’t like potato salad.
  94. Because you’re eating too much potato salad.
  95. Because you’re now talking too much about potato salad.
  96. Because there are no more bread rolls.
  97. Because you don’t want to get on a tangent about bread rolls like you did with potato salad.
  98. Because now you’re talking too much about bread rolls.
  99. Because we don’t want another “coleslaw incident.”
  100. Because we all remember what happened. ( See #98)
  101. Because it’s what Uncle Sam wants.
  102. Because it’s what Uncle Sam doesn’t want.
  103. Because what’s even the point?
  104. Because if you don’t, England wins.
  105. Because upon thinking about it, you don’t know what that last reason means.
  106. Because Netflix is going to be the best man at your wedding.
  107. Because Netflix is going to be the maid of honor at your wedding.
  108. Because Red Solo Cup.
  109. Because that one show with that guy from that thing.
  110. Because that one show where the girl was all,”Whattttt!”
  111. Because “Boom goes the dynamite!”
  112. Because if England won, we’d all be speaking English right now.
  113. Because we’re speaking English anyway.
  114. Because you just got a new TV.
  115. Because you still don’t know how to use your new TV.
  116. Because the United States of America.
  117. Because Los Estados Unidos de América.
  118. Because Los Estados Unidos de América is Spanish for Los Estados Unidos de América.
  119. Because it’s the land of the free and home of the brave.
  120. Because it’s the land of the free and home of the movie “Brave.”
  121. Because you’re a time traveler, but you really don’t feel like going anywhere right now.
  122. Because of our Founding Fathers.
  123. Because you finally found your father watching the game in the basement.
  124. Because of the 13 original colonies.
  125. Because of bee colonies.
  126. Because flags.
  127. Because stripes.
  128. Because stars.
  129. Because of apple pie.
  130. Because of cherry pie.
  131. Because of blueberry pie.
  132. Because of strawberry pie.
  133. Because of moon pies.
  134. Just because of pie.
  135. Because 3.14.
  136. Because of our ancestors.
  137. Because of Ancestry.com.
  138. Because of Match.com.
  139. Because on Tinder, you’d swipe right for America.
  140. Because on Tinder, you’d swipe left for everything except America.
  141. Because you can’t think of anything else to do.
  142. Because you can think of other things to do, but this is better.
  143. Because it’s probably “Harry Potter” Weekend on ABC Family.
  144. Because even if it’s not “Harry Potter” Weekend, that’s why they make DVDs.
  145. Because you want to finally figure out who “A” is.
  146. Because you don’t trust any of the “Pretty Little Liars.”
  147. Because you were shocked the “Pretty Little Liars” were regular sized people, and you were expecting them to be abnormally little.
  148. Because you don’t want to clean the grill.
  149. Because you already cleaned the grill.
  150. Because someone else cleaned the grill.
  151. Because you are wearing a new grill.
  152. Because you don’t want to make the fruit salad.
  153. Because you already made the fruit salad.
  154. Because you don’t even like fruit salad.
  155. Because TV means freedom.
  156. Because freedom means freedom.
  157. Just because freedom.
  158. Because you’re not paying DirecTV for nothing.
  159. Because you are paying DirecTV for nothing.
  160. Because you don’t even have DirecTV.
  161. Because you’re more of a Verizon FIOS type of person.
  162. Because being a Verizon FIOS type of person is a lonely life.
  163. Because you’re Team Jacob.
  164. Because you’re Team Edward.
  165. Because Bella deserves a team too.
  166. Because Jacob nicknamed Bella’s baby after the Loch Ness monster.
  167. Because the Loch Ness Monster.
  168. Because Uncle Jesse already left for the Smash Club.
  169. Because “High School Musical.”
  170. Because having such separate cliques, the kids in “High School Musical” perform pretty elaborately choreographed dances.
  171. Because that time Zac Efron danced on the golf course singing “Bet on It.”
  172. Because Global Warming.
  173. Because Obamacare.
  174. Because Global Warming vs. Obamacare.
  175. Because “Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus.”
  176. Because Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman.
  177. Because Bill Clinton did have sexual relations with that woman.
  178. Because you suspect Nic Cage will steal the Declaration of Independence.
  179. Because Nic Cage is definitely stealing the Declaration of Independence.
  180. Because you support Nic Cage and his pursuit of the Declaration of Independence.
  181. Because Nic Cage is a “National Treasure.”
  182. Because Nic Cage is a “National Treasure: Book of Secrets.”
  183. Because it’s what Thomas Jefferson would’ve wanted.
  184. Because it’s what Benjamin Franklin would’ve wanted.
  185. Because it’s what your neighbor Fenjamin Branklin would’ve wanted.
  186. Because you suspect that’s not your neighbor’s real name.
  187. Because of liberty.
  188. Because of the Statue of Liberty.
  189. Because of Liberty Mutual.
  190. Because of “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”
  191. Because it’s what Oprah wants.
  192. Because Oprah always gets what she wants.
  193. Because everybody gets a car!
  194. Because how else will you keep up with the Kardashians?
  195. Because you don’t want to keep up with the Kardashians.
  196. Because you have no choice but to keep up with the Kardashians.
  197. Because you want to know what the “Real Housewives” are up to.
  198. Because they don’t really seem like “Real Housewives.”
  199. Because “Pawn Stars” is probably on.
  200. Because do you mind if Rick from “Pawn Stars” calls his buddy in to take a look?
  201. Because you wonder if shrimp watch a show called “Prawn Stars.”
  202. Because you want to daydream about being chosen for “The Price is Right.”
  203. Because you want to daydream about being chosen for “The Hunger Games.”
  204. Because you have messed up day dreams.
  205. Because “What does the fox say?”
  206. Because you have Apple TV.
  207. Because you have Apple TV, meaning a TV channel dedicated to apples.
  208. Because you tell people you have Hulu Plus.
  209. Because you really just use the free version of Hulu.
  210. Because you Hula while you Hulu.
  211. Because you’re paying for Netflix.
  212. Because your friend is paying for Netflix.
  213. Because turn up!
  214. Because turnips.
  215. Because you are trying to figure out your roommate’s Netflix password.
  216. Because Netflix just added new movies.
  217. Because Netflix just got rid of a lot of movies.
  218. Because you are still trying to figure out your roommate’s Netflix password.
  219. Because it’s fun.
  220. Because other stuff isn’t as fun.
  221. Because you finally figured out your roommate’s Netflix password.
  222. Because now you can’t decide what to watch on Netflix.
  223. Because that’s cray cray.
  224. Because “Girl Meets World.”
  225. Because “Boy Meets World.”
  226. Because Cory and Topanga.
  227. Because Cory and Topanga again.
  228. Because you can’t believe Cory kissed that girl at the ski lodge. Topanga deserves better.
  229. Because that episode where Cory bought all that cork furniture.
  230. Because “FEENY!”
  231. Because you want to watch Netflix on the PS3 you bought from Craigslist.
  232. Because you’re not 100% sure the PS3 you bought from Craigslist isn’t stolen, and you want to enjoy Netflix before the cops come.
  233. Because you just ate and need to wait 30 minutes before going in the pool.
  234. Because you have a TV in your pool.
  235. Because you don’t have a TV in your pool.
  236. Because you wish you had a TV in your pool.
  237. Because you don’t know why they call pool “billiards,” and it makes you really mad.
  238. Because you’re at your in-laws’ house.
  239. Because you wish you weren’t at your in-laws’ house.
  240. Because you have no choice but to be at your in-laws’ house.
  241. Because “Full House” is on.
  242. Because you wish your family was like the one on “Full House.”
  243. Because actually you’re glad your family is not like the one on “Full House.”
  244. Because your family hugs more than the one on “Full House.”
  245. Because you never want Uncle Joey to “Cut. It. Out.”
  246. Because you always want Uncle Joey to “Cut. It. Out.”
  247. Because a day without “Breaking Bad” would be pretty methed up.
  248. Because you like using “Breaking Bad” puns, and you don’t care what your parents say about it.
  249. Because Mr. White from “Breaking Bad” reminds you of your Chem teacher.
  250. Oh, God! Mr. White from “Breaking Bad” reminds you of your Chem teacher!
  251. Because you want to try this whole “binge-watching” thing.
  252. Because “binge-watching” makes being lazy sound a lot more cool.
  253. Because “binge-watching” doesn’t make being lazy sound more cool, but you don’t really care.
  254. Because your parents don’t want you to, but you’re totally in your rebellious stage.
  255. Because your parents want you to, and you’re totally not in your rebellious stage.
  256. Just because of your parents.
  257. Because you have nothing to talk about.
  258. Because you have too much to talk about.
  259. Because you want to get something to talk about.
  260. Because you want something to tweet about.
  261. Because talk is cheap.
  262. Because talk is expensive.
  263. Because you want to see what “Four Weddings” is all about.
  264. Because “Four Weddings” in Westeros would probably be a lot different.
  265. Because “Game of Thrones.”
  266. Because Dany from “Game of Thrones” takes what is hers with “fireworks and blood.”
  267. Because when you play the “Game of Thrones,” you win or you don’t stop hearing about it until the next family reunion.
  268. Because any man who says, “I am the king,” is probably just Uncle Pete after he found the Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
  269. Because Jon Snow knows nothing.
  270. Because Jon Snow must know something.
  271. Because nope. Jon Snow knows nothing.
  272. Because Prince Oberyn blew your mind.
  273. Actually because the Mountain blew your mind.
  274. Because everyone from “Game of Thrones” blows your mind.
  275. Because “Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. You’re lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.”
  276. Because HBO.
  277. Because it’s Showtime.
  278. Because it’s literally show time.
  279. Because “Orange Is The New Black” Season 1.
  280. Because “Orange Is The New Black” Season 2.
  281. Because “Orange Is The New Black” Season 1 again.
  282. Because once you go “Orange Is The New Black,” you never go back.
  283. Because in “Harry Potter,” Sirius Is The New Black.
  284. Because “All men must die.”
  285. Because all “Mad Men” must die.
  286. Because “Calm and Sensible Men” would probably be less interesting.
  287. Because “House of Cards.”
  288. Because you don’t want to build an actual house of cards.
  289. Because we got “House of Cards” from the British, just like America.
  290. Because yay America.
  291. Because documentaries you fall asleep to.
  292. Because documentaries you don’t fall asleep to.
  293. Because the History Channel.
  294. Because anything besides the History Channel.
  295. Because “The Twilight Zone” marathon on Syfy.
  296. Because “The Twilight Zone” marathon on Syfy again.
  297. Because Syfy in general.
  298. Because it’s educational.
  299. Because it’s not educational.
  300. Because other countries aren’t America.
  301. Because other countries might be America.
  302. Because never mind. Other countries aren’t America.
  303. Because it’s what your mom wants.
  304. Because it’s not what your mom wants.
  305. Because you think it’s what your mom wants.
  306. Because when robots take over, they’re going to destroy TVs first.
  307. Because if “iRobot” taught us anything, it’s that robots are scary as Hell.
  308. Just because robots.
  309. Because you want to do homework, and you don’t know what’s wrong with you.
  310. Because if it’s wrong, why does it feel so right?
  311. Because if it’s right, why did we make a left back there?
  312. Because “Do the Right Thing.”
  313. Because “Adventure Time” is on.
  314. Because “Adventure Time” is not on.
  315. Because “Adventure Time” might be on soon.
  316. Because channel surfing counts as exercise.
  317. Because you’re trying to convince yourself that channel surfing counts as exercise.
  318. Because sitting in a chair is a yoga pose, right?
  319. Because you need to make sure your TV still works.
  320. Because your TV is not working, and you need to fix it.
  321. Because your TV is working, but you feel like you should still make sure.
  322. Because if you don’t, the Decepticons win.
  323. Because if you don’t, The Capitol wins.
  324. Because Jennifer Lawrence wants you to.
  325. Because Katniss wants you to.
  326. Because Jennifer Lawrence and Katniss are the same person.
  327. Because Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are the same person.
  328. Because that just blew your mind.
  329. Because Megan Fox probably doesn’t care, but what if she does?
  330. Because “True Blood” is on.
  331. Because “True Blood” isn’t on.
  332. Because “True Blood” could be on.
  333. Because you’ll wait for “True Blood.”
  334. Because TBS is very funny.
  335. Because you don’t think TBS is very funny, but you’ll give it another chance.
  336. Because TNT knows drama.
  337. Because TNT doesn’t know as much drama as your family parties.
  338. Because USA came up with “characters welcome” after meeting your family.
  339. Because AMC has a “Breaking Bad” marathon.
  340. Because AMC has a “Breaking Bad” marathon again.
  341. Because at AMC, story matters.
  342. Because to Carl Winslow, “Family Matters.”
  343. Because AMC are the first three letters of your alphabet.
  344. Because there’s a “Power” marathon on Starz.
  345. Because there’s a “Power” marathon on Starz, and your couch is super comfy.
  346. Because there’s a “Masters of Sex” marathon on Showtime.
  347. Because there’s a “Masters of Sex” marathon on Showtime, and your mom isn’t in the room.
  348. Because there’s also a “Walking Dead” marathon on AMC.
  349. Because AMC is calling it a “Dead, White and Blue” weekend.
  350. Because AMC likes puns.
  351. Because the Hub has a “Transformers” marathon.
  352. Because you didn’t even know the Hub was a channel.
  353. Because MTV has an “Awkward” marathon.
  354. Because MTV’s “Awkward” marathon is less awkward than whatever is happening at your house.
  355. Because MTV has a “Ridiculousness” marathon.
  356. Because MTV’s “Ridiculousness” marathon isn’t as ridiculous as your Aunt’s new boyfriend.
  357. Because USA has a “NCIS” marathon.
  358. Because USA’s “NCIS” marathon isn’t as big a crime scene as your dad wearing those shorts.
  359. Because USA has a “Modern Family” marathon.
  360. Because you love spending time with your “Modern Family,” meaning the TV show.
  361. Because you love spending time with your “Modern Family,” meaning your regular family, but you’d rather watch TV.
  362. Because E! has a “Sex And The City” marathon.
  363. Because E! has a “Sex And The City” marathon, and you’re a Miranda.
  364. Because E! has a “Sex And The City” marathon, and you have no idea what a Miranda is.
  365. Because there’s a “South Park” marathon on Comedy Central.
  366. Because there’s a “South Park” marathon on Comedy Central, and they killed Kenny. You bastards!
  367. Because there’s a “Futurama” marathon on Comedy Central this weekend.
  368. Because TNT’s “Lord of the Rings” marathon.
  369. Because TNT’s “Lord of the Rings” marathon is the one marathon to rule them all.
  370. Because one does not simply go through July 4th without watching a “Lord of the Rings” marathon.
  371. Because Food Network’s “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” marathon.
  372. Because Food Network’s “Guy’s Grocery Games” marathon.
  373. Because Food Network is going to great lengths to make you hungry.
  374. Because you won’t be watching Adam Richman’s new show anytime soon.
  375. Because A&E’s “Dog the Bounty Hunter” marathon.
  376. Because you thought “Dog the Bounty Hunter” was about animals.
  377. Because A&E’s “Criminal Minds” marathon.
  378. Because you knew “Criminal Minds” wasn’t about animals.
  379. Because TLC’s “17 Kids And Counting” marathon.
  380. Because TLC’s “18 Kids And Counting” marathon.
  381. Because TLC’s “19 Kids And Counting” marathon.
  382. Because you’re starting to suspect all these “Kids and Counting” shows are really the same thing.
  383. Because TLC’s “A Very Duggar Wedding” marathon.
  384. Because TLC’s “Say Yes To The Dress” marathon.
  385. Because you don’t just say no to the dress.
  386. Because TLC’s “Extreme Couponing” marathon.
  387. Because TLC’s “Extreme Couponing” marathon is starting to make you take a hard look at your life.
  388. Because Travel Channel’s “Food Paradise” marathon. 
  389. Because your personal “Food Paradise” is the dollar menu at McDonald’s.
  390. Because Discovery’s “Fast N’ Loud” marathon.
  391. Because you weren’t aware “Fast N’ Loud” was so loud since it’s normally on mute at the gym.
  392. Because you want people to know you go to the gym.
  393. Because Discovery’s “Alaskan Bush People” marathon.
  394. Because Discovery’s “Alaskan Bush People” marathon makes you feel better about your studio apartment.
  395. Because Discovery’s “Alaskan Bush People” marathon looks a little too similar to your studio apartment.
  396. Because Discovery’s “Deadliest Catch” marathon is on.
  397. Because Discovery’s “Deadliest Catch” marathon is on, and it’s better than talking to Uncle Louis.
  398. Because IFC’s “Batman” the TV show marathon.
  399. Because IFC’s “Batman” the TV show marathon makes you think about “Dark Knight” again.
  400. Because “Freaks and Geeks” on Netflix.
  401. Because “Freaks and Geeks” on Netflix makes you feel better about your high school days.
  402. Because “Freaks and Geeks” on Netflix reminds you a little too much of your high school days.
  403. Because “The West Wing” on Netflix.
  404. Because “The West Wing” on Netflix makes you wonder why they didn’t make an “East Wing.”
  405. Because “Doctor Who” on Netflix.
  406. Because you still don’t know who actually watches “Doctor Who.”
  407. Because “Archer” on Netflix.
  408. Because “Archer” on Netflix is like the inappropriate James Bond you always wanted.
  409. Because you never wanted an inappropriate James Bond, but you’re glad “Archer” is on Netflix anyway.
  410. Because “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” on Netflix.
  411. Because “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” on Netflix makes you feel like you don’t have to sleep with the covers over your head.
  412. Because you sleep with the covers over your head anyway.
  413. Because “The X-Files” on Netflix.
  414. Because you can finally watch “The X-Files” on Netflix without wetting your pants.
  415. Because you can’t watch “The X-Files” on Netflix without wetting your pants, but you’re single so YOLO.
  416. Because YOLO.
  417. Because you want to figure out what the heck happened in “Lost.”
  418. Because you just figured out “Lost,” and it still doesn’t make sense.
  419. Because Olivia Pope is dope.
  420. Because the real “Scandal” is why this show isn’t on every day of your life.
  421. Because “Dancing with the Stars.”
  422. Because you watch “Dancing with the Stars” and think, “I can do that.”
  423. Because you watch “Dancing with the Stars” and think, “Wait, no I can’t.”
  424. Because you found old episodes of “Laguna Beach” online.
  425. Because you found old episodes of “Laguna Beach” online, and all your friends are like, “Where!”
  426. Because you like watching Taco Bell commercials.
  427. Because who doesn’t like watching Taco Bell commercials?
  428. Because your friends think you’re watching too many Taco Bell commercials.
  429. Because you want to know the next name on “The Blacklist.”
  430. Because you think your name is on “The Blacklist.”
  431. Because “Homeland,” duh.
  432. Because “Homeland,” double duh.
  433. Because you’re losing your head over “Sleepy Hollow.”
  434. Because other people are losing their heads over “Sleepy Hollow.”
  435. Because you secretly watch “The Bachelorette.”
  436. Because you openly watch “The Bachelorette.”
  437. Because you don’t know what the guys do with all the roses after the rose ceremony on “The Bachelorette.” Are they putting them in a vase? Do they give them back to her? What the heck is going on?
  438. Because “Under The Dome” doesn’t sounds terrible.
  439. Because “Under The Dome” can’t be more terrible than Aunt Lysa.
  440. Because “America’s Got Talent” got your attention.
  441. Because Heidi Klum on “America’s Got Talent” got your attention.
  442. Because “Suits.” That is all.
  443. Because other shows besides “Suits.” Now that is all.
  444. Because “Arrested Development” happened.
  445. Because Mary-Kate and Ashley solve any crime by dinnertime. Yay!
  446. Because Rust Cohle and Marty Hart take 17 years to solve a crime while struggling with inner demons and ruining the lives of everyone around them. Yay?
  447. Because you decided to give “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” a chance.
  448. Because you decided to give “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” a second chance.
  449. Because your mom wants to watch “Mom.”
  450. Because your dad wants to watch anything besides “Mom.”
  451. Because you’re a new mom, and you’re looking to pick up some tips from “Parenthood.”
  452. Because you’re not a new mom, and the tips you got were to never enter “Parenthood.”
  453. Because “How I Met Your Mother” is Legen …
  454. .. Wait for it …
  455. .. Wait for it …
  456. .. Wait for it …
  457. Dary!
  458. Because you’re looking to pick up some tips from “How I Met Your Mother” to meet ladies. Not to meet your mother.
  459. Because TV makes you happy.
  460. Because TV makes you so happy you clap along if you feel like a room without a roof.
  461. Because you don’t really know how a room without a roof should feel, so you stop clapping.
  462. Because books are lame.
  463. Because book adaptations aren’t lame.
  464. Because you don’t have a social life, and you’re cool with that.
  465. Because you do have a social life, and you’re cool with that.
  466. Because TV is better than a girlfriend.
  467. Because TV is better than a boyfriend.
  468. Because TV is better than significant others in general.
  469. Because you like watching TV with your significant other.
  470. Because TV is better than hugs.
  471. Because TV is better than bugs.
  472. Because TV is better than rugs.
  473. Because TV is better than male UGGs. (We’re looking at you, Tom Brady).
  474. Because TV is better than cats.
  475. Because TV is better than puppies.
  476. Because do you want to build a snowman?
  477. No? Okay.
  478. Because TV is better than fireworks.
  479. Because TV is better than ants.
  480. Because TV is better than aunts.
  481. Because Uncle Dave won’t stop talking about the time he met Gunnar Stahl from “D2: The Mighty Ducks.”
  482. Because Cousin Lucy threw up.
  483. Because the dog ate your keys.
  484. Because the cat ate your keys.
  485. Because Grandma ate your keys.
  486. Because Great Grandma Nan wants to get her Pat Sajak swerve on.
  487. Because Sister Mary Clarence is in witness protection and needs to find something to do.
  488. Because your mom says there’s “Leftovers” on the counter, but it’s just a DVD of an HBO show.
  489. Because “Live long and prosper.” – Spock
  490. Because Jerry Seinfeld gave you a new appreciation for Muffin tops.
  491. Because “Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” – “Adventures of Superman”
  492. Because “Baby, you’re the greatest.” – Ralph Kramden
  493. Because “Yabba dabba doo!” – Fred Flintstone
  494. Because “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” – Jim McKay, “Wide World of Sports”
  495. Because “To the Batmobile!” – Batman
  496. Because “Danger, Will Robinson!” – “Lost in Space”
  497. Because “Kiss my grits!” – Flo, “Alice”
  498. Because “Good night, John Boy.” – “The Waltons”
  499. Because “This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.” – “Mission: Impossible”
  500. Because “No soup for you!” – The Soup Nazi
  501. Because “Did I do that?” – Urkel
  502. Because “Cut it out.” – Joey Gladstone
  503. Because “We’ve got a situation.” – Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
  504. Because “Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!” – “South Park”
  505. Because “Sock it to me!” – “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In”
  506. Because “Book ‘em, Danno.” – “McGarrett, Hawaii Five-0″
  507. Because “Bazinga!” – Sheldon Cooper
  508. Because “Just one more thing…” – “Columbo”
  509. Because “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” – Jan Brady
  510. Because “Stifle!” – Archie Bunker
  511. Because “Dude.” – Hurley, “Lost”
  512. Because “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” – “Friday Night Lights”
  513. Because “You hear that, Elizabeth? I’m coming to join you, honey.” – Fred Sanford
  514. Because “Will you accept this rose?” – “The Bachelor”
  515. Because “No? What about you? Will you accept this rose?” – “The Bachelor”
  516. Because “It’s Okay.” – Juan Pablo, “The Bachelor”
  517. Because “That’s Amazing.” – Everyone on “The Bachelor”/”The Bachelorette”
  518. Because “God will get you for that.” – “Maude”
  519. Because “You’re fired!” – Donald Trump
  520. Because “Who loves ya, baby?” – “Kojak”
  521. Because “Dy-no-mite!” – J.J., “Good Times”
  522. Because “Aaay!” – The Fonz
  523. Because “Come on down!” – “The Price is Right”
  524. Because “Is that your final answer?” – “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”
  525. Because “De plane, de plane!” – Tattoo, “Fantasy Island”
  526. Because “Nanu-nanu.” – Mork, “Mork & Mindy”
  527. Because “Tenk you veddy much.” – Latka, “Taxi”
  528. Because “Let’s be careful out there.” – Esterhaus, “Hill Street Blues”
  529. Because “More cowbell!” – “SNL”
  530. Because “Well, isn’t that special?” – The Church Lady, “SNL”
  531. Because “Eat my shorts.” – Bart, “The Simpsons”
  532. Because “I’m listening.” – “Frasier”
  533. Because “It’s a good thing.” – Martha Stewart
  534. Because “Holy crap!” – Frank Barone
  535. Because “Bam!” – Emeril Lagasse
  536. Because “Make it work.” – Tim Gunn, “Project Runway”
  537. Because “Everybody lies.” – “House”
  538. Because “Who’s your daddy?” – “Veronica Mars”
  539. Because “Serenity now!” – “Seinfeld”
  540. Because “Giddy up!” – “Seinfeld”
  541. Because “A Festivus for the rest of us!” – “Seinfeld”
  542. Because “Hello!” – “Seinfeld”
  543. Because “Maybe the dingo ate your baby.” – “Seinfeld”
  544. Because “The jerk store called. They’re running out of you.” – “Seinfeld”
  545. Because “George is getting upset!” – “Seinfeld”
  546. Because “Hello … Newman.” – “Seinfeld”
  547. Because “They’re real, and they’re spectacular.” – “Seinfeld”
  548. Because “Master of my domain.” – “Seinfeld”
  549. Because “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” – “Seinfeld”
  550. Because “These pretzels are making me thirsty!” – “Seinfeld”
  551. Because “Yada yada yada.” – “Seinfeld”
  552. Because “I’m Rick James, bitch!” – “Chappelle’s Show”
  553. Because “What!” – “Chappelle’s Show”
  554. Because all your family is outside, so you sneak indoors to watch “All in the Family.”
  555. Because all your family is inside, so you sneak outdoors to watch “All in the Family.”
  556. Because “M*A*S*H” isn’t just for potatoes.
  557. Because watching “M*A*S*H” is better with potatoes.
  558. Because you want more “Mary Tyler Moore.”
  559. Because you still want more “Mary Tyler Moore.”
  560. Because you want to figure out why everyone at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is so “Mad.”
  561. Because you know why everyone at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is “Mad,” but you want to watch anyway.
  562. Because you have a beer, and it’s time for “Cheers.”
  563. Because you don’t have a beer, but it’s still time for “Cheers.”
  564. Because you fumbled it when it came down to “The Wire.”
  565. Because “The West Wing” is your thing.
  566. Because “The West Wing” could be your thing.
  567. Because you don’t if “The West Wing” is your thing.
  568. Because you like “The Simpsons” better than your family.
  569. Because your family likes “The Simpsons” better than you.
  570. Because you like parties, but you “Love Lucy.”
  571. Because everyone loves “Lucy.”
  572. Because everyone’s breaking bread, but you’re “Breaking Bad.”
  573. Because “Breaking Bad” is better than seeing Grandpa breaking wind.
  574. Because “The Dick Van Dyke Show” keeps Grandma from criticizing your life choices.
  575. Because you get blue without “Hill Street Blues.”
  576. Because your family is more like the Bluths than you’d like to admit.
  577. Because you wish your family was like the Bluths, and that’s scary.
  578. Because “The Daily Show” is called that for a reason.
  579. Because “The Daily Show” is better than listening to your drunk uncle talk politics.
  580. Because “The Daily Show” is actually just like listening to your drunk uncle talk politics.
  581. Because you wish “30 Rock” was your address.
  582. Because “30 Rock” is your address.
  583. Because it’s time for “Friday Night Lights,” and we’re not talking about sparklers.
  584. Because it’s time for “Friday Night Lights,” and we are talking about sparklers.
  585. Because you like to say “Cheers” to “Frasier.”
  586. Because you like to say “Frasier” to “Cheers.”
  587. Because life’s all about “Friends.”
  588. Because all your friends just want to watch “Friends.”
  589. Because you need more “Friends.”
  590. Because Monica and Chandler.
  591. Because Ross and Rachel.
  592. Because Joey and … sandwiches?
  593. Because “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!”
  594. Because your girlfriend just dumped you, so it’s time for some “X-Files.” (Like because she’s your Ex.)
  595. Because you wish your girlfriend dumped you so you can watch “X-Files.” (Like because that whole she’s your Ex thing again.)
  596. Because without J. J. Abrams, you’re “Lost.”
  597. Because with J.J. Abrams, you’re found.
  598. Because you pronounce “ER” like “Errrr.”
  599. Because “ER” just gave you a heart attack.
  600. Because “The Cosby Show” is even better than JELL-O pudding pops.
  601. Because “The Cosby Show” is just as good as JELL-O pudding pops.
  602. Because you like watching “The Cosby Show” with JELL-O pudding pops.
  603. Because life can be frustrating, so maybe it’s time to “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
  604. Because life’s frustrating, so it’s past time to “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
  605. Because the honeymoon is over, but “The Honeymooners” is forever.
  606. Because the sticks in the bonfire won’t light. They call that “Deadwood.”
  607. Because surprise! “Deadwood” is also a TV show.
  608. Because you can’t live long and prosper without “Star Trek.”
  609. Because you can live long and prosper without “Star Trek,” but you don’t want to.
  610. Because “Star Trek” beams you up to fun times.
  611. Because your twins keep looking inside the grill and letting all the heat out. They call that “Twin Peaks.”
  612. Because your life is like an American television serial drama set in a fictional Washington town. They also call that “Twin Peaks.”
  613. Because without “NYPD,” you’re “Blue.”
  614. Because without “NYPD,” you’re green?
  615. Because “The Carol Burnett Show” is real a thing.
  616. Because swerve.
  617. Because swaggy.
  618. Because it’s time to get together with your “Girls.”
  619. Because you don’t want to get your butt muddy.
  620. Because watching “Arthur” is better than Hurricane Arthur.
  621. Because you always thought it was called “Downtown Abbey,” and the fact that it’s “Downton Abbey” means you need to watch it all over.
  622. Because your life is chaos without “Law & Order.”
  623. Because “Law & Order” is chaos without your life.
  624. Because people just need “Law & Order.”
  625. Because you just put “SVU” in the DVD player in your SUV.
  626. Because you originally went to buy “SVU,” but you accidentally got an SUV. (Happens to the best of us.)
  627. Because you’d rather be somewhere else, and that’s why they made “St. Elsewhere.”
  628. Because Porta-Johns.
  629. Because they made “St. Elsewhere,” and you wouldn’t rather be anywhere elsewhere.
  630. Because “The Colbert Report” doesn’t have to many episodes left, Mom.
  631. Because Colbert is taking over on CBS, Mom.
  632. Because there’s nothing more American than Colbert, Mom.
  633. Because you have a “Good Wife.”
  634. Because it’s a holiday, but you still need to check in with “The Office.”
  635. Because you need to check in with “The Office” from the UK.
  636. Because even when you’re at the office, you’re watching “The Office.”
  637. Because one day you’ll look back and just think about “The Wonder Years.”
  638. Because right now you are currently thinking about “The Wonder Years.”
  639. Because “Planet Of The Apes.”
  640. Because it doesn’t get more American than apes on horses.
  641. Because “Fargo.”
  642. Because no one will tell you how to get to “Sesame Street.”
  643. Because you could easily ask how to get to “Sesame Street,” but you want to figure it out for yourself.
  644. Because it’s the day we celebrate Christopher “Columbo,” right? No? Whatever.
  645. Because “Columbo” discovered America.
  646. Because all the people who lived in America weren’t discovered until Christopher “Columbo” got there.
  647. Because everyone else can listen to music outside, but you rock on to the “The Rockford Files.”
  648. Because Carpe diem: Seize the day.
  649. Because Carpet diem: Seize the living room carpet.
  650. Because it’s fetch.
  651. Because Gretchen needs to stop trying to make fetch happen.
  652. Because there’s a baseball game on.
  653. Because there’s another baseball game on.
  654. Because you’re waiting for a baseball game to come on.
  655. Because you wish there was a baseball game on.
  656. Because you can’t figure out why there’s no baseball game on.
  657. Because you remember when “Roots” wasn’t just a band on “The Tonight Show.”
  658. Because you remember when “Roots” wasn’t just a name for when girls grow out their hair and it’s a different color.
  659. Because “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
  660. Because not everybody loves Uncle Raymond.
  661. Because infomercials and ShamWow and stuff.
  662. Because you lost your sunglasses.
  663. Because someone else lost your sunglasses.
  664. Because the sun is sometimes too much fun.
  665. Because cookies.
  666. Because “The Golden Girls.”
  667. Because Betty White.
  668. Because strange and unfamiliar cheese trays.
  669. Because vegetables.
  670. Because someone mentioned “The Andy Griffith Show.”
  671. Because you wish someone mentioned “The Andy Griffith Show.”
  672. Because Jack Bauer.
  673. Because Jack Bauer says America depends on it.
  674. Because Jack Bauer would never lie about something like that.
  675. Because Jack Bauer might’ve lied about something like that.
  676. Because Facebook.
  677. Because twerking.
  678. Because you twerked your back, so you need to rest.
  679. Because reading is for Facebooks.
  680. Because you feel like checking on the “House,” meaning the TV show.
  681. Because you feel like checking on the “House,” meaning your house.
  682. Because your kitchen is a nightmare, and you’re waiting for Gordon Ramsay to show up.
  683. Because of “Parks and Recreation.”
  684. Because Ron Swanson is the greatest American.
  685. Because are we Americans? Or American’ts?
  686. Because there’s a show called “Dog Whisperer.”
  687. Because your dog is super loud, and you want him to learn how to whisper like the dogs on the show.
  688. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of Orange County.”
  689. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of Atlanta.”
  690. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of New York.”
  691. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of New Jersey.”
  692. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.”
  693. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of Miami.”
  694. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of Vancouver.”
  695. Because there’s a show called “Real Housewives Of Melbourne.”
  696. Because if a “Sharknado” hits, you have to be ready.
  697. Because there’s a show called “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”
  698. Because you can think of 8 people who probably wish there wasn’t a show called “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”
  699. Because there’s a show called “Ax Men.”
  700. Because “Ax Men” sounds like “X-Men.”
  701. Because “X-Men” is awesome.
  702. Because there’s a show called “Teen Mom.”
  703. Because you wish there wasn’t a show called “Teen Mom.”
  704. Because you wonder whatever happened to the “Teen Moms.”
  705. Because the bro code.
  706. Because there’s a show called “Jersey Shore.”
  707. Because there’s a show called “Toddlers & Tiaras.”
  708. Because there’s a show called “American Pickers.”
  709. Because there’s a show called “Storage Wars.”
  710. Because there’s a show called “Parking Wars.”
  711. Because there’s a show called “Cupcake Wars.”
  712. Because there’s a show called “Amish Mafia.”
  713. Because there’s a show called “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”
  714. Because there’s a show called “Blind Date.”
  715. Because there’s a show called “Who’s the Boss?”
  716. Because there’s a show called “Doug.”
  717. Because there’s a show called “SpongeBob SquarePants.”
  718. Because there’s a show called “iCarly.”
  719. Because there’s a show called “Married … with Children”
  720. Because there’s a show called “Happy Days.”
  721. Because there’s a show called “Family Ties.”
  722. Because there’s a show called “Rugrats.”
  723. Because there’s a show called “The Ren & Stimpy Show.”
  724. Because there’s a show called “The Angry Beavers.”
  725. Because there’s a show called “CatDog.”
  726. Because there’s a show called “The Adventures of Pete & Pete.”
  727. Because there’s a show called “Hey Dude.”
  728. Because there’s a show called “The Secret World of Alex Mack.”
  729. Because there’s a show called “Cousin Skeeter.”
  730. Because there’s a show called “Legends of the Hidden Temple.”
  731. Because the Silver Snakes were the shiz.
  732. Because there’s a show called “Double Dare.”
  733. Because there’s a show called “Nickelodeon Guts.”
  734. Because there’s a show called “Global GUTS.”
  735. Because there’s a show called “Robot Wars.”
  736. Because there’s a show called “Figure It Out.”
  737. Because there’s a show called “Are You Afraid of the Dark.”
  738. Because there’s a show called “All That.”
  739. Because there’s a show called “Gullah Gullah Island.”
  740. Because there’s a show called “Blue’s Clues.”
  741. Because there’s a show called “The Wild Thornberrys.”
  742. Because there’s a show called “Invader Zim.”
  743. Because there’s a show called “Rocket Power.”
  744. Because there’s a show called “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters.”
  745. Because there’s a show called “KaBlam.”
  746. Because there’s a show called “As Told By Ginger.”
  747. Because there’s a show called “Danny Phantom.”
  748. Because there’s a show called “Avatar: The Last Airbender.”
  749. Because there’s a show called “Salute Your Shorts.”
  750. Because there’s a show called “Saved By The Bell.”
  751. Because there’s a show called “Growing Pains.”
  752. Because there’s a show called “Clarissa Explains It All.”
  753. Because there’s a show called “Keenan & Kel.”
  754. Because if they don’t throw candy at the parade, it’s not worth it.
  755. Because parades are overrated.
  756. Because couches are underrated.
  757. Because carnivals get weird.
  758. Because baked beans.
  759. Because weather.
  760. Because beer makes you drunk.
  761. Because beer doesn’t make you drunk enough.
  762. Because beverages in general.
  763. Because why not?
  764. Because cobbler.
  765. Because Stephen “Cobblert.”
  766. Because “The Cobblert Report.”
  767. Because for goodness sake.
  768. Because shortcake.
  769. Because corn on the cob.
  770. Because burgers.
  771. Because you’re so fancy.
  772. Because you’re not fancy enough.
  773. Because babies.
  774. Because babies who overestimate their cuteness.
  775. Because watermelon.
  776. Because barbecue sauce.
  777. Because barbecues are messy.
  778. Because concerts are dirty.
  779. Because baseball is better on TV.
  780. Because with game shows, everybody wins.
  781. Because you can see the flag just fine from indoors.
  782. Because it’s your day off.
  783. Because you’re starting a revolution.
  784. Because the butt indent on the couch is big enough for all 13 original colonies.
  785. Because you declare independence from awkwardness.
  786. Because it’s what Paul Revere would’ve done.
  787. Because no one cares what you do.
  788. Because everyone cares too much what you do.
  789. Because no one came to your party. That’s not cool. You made pizza bagels.
  790. Because too many people came to your party. That’s not cool. There’s only one bag of pizza bagels.
  791. Because you didn’t have a party. That’s not cool. You’re gonna waste those pizza bagels.
  792. Because you can’t even.
  793. Because the sun be throwing shade at you.
  794. Because you got sunburnt.
  795. Because you are pretending you got sunburnt.
  796. Because you lied about being sunburnt, and now you can’t face your mom.
  797. Because you don’t have matching socks.
  798. Because your socks match a little too well.
  799. Because you can’t find your mandles.
  800. Because you just learned what mandles are.
  801. Because you are waiting for Shark Week.
  802. Because you wish Shark Week lasted all year.
  803. Because “Cake Boss” is sweet.
  804. Because Dumbledore died.
  805. Because Katniss is shooting arrows at your heart like Cupid.
  806. Because you missed the bus.
  807. Because you wish you missed the bus.
  808. Because you said a joke and no one laughed, so you’re thinking about your life.
  809. Because you’re secretly watching “Frozen.”
  810. Because you’re watching “Frozen,” but it’s not a secret.
  811. Because you like to turn the volume down and add commentary. You know it’s weird.
  812. Because you’re still really mad about that Dumbledore thing.
  813. Because someone at the party used your name in that “Bananarama Fo Fama” song, and you don’t know how to take it.
  814. Because you have soul searching to do.
  815. Because you wish you had some soul searching to do.
  816. Because Dumbledore. Seriously?
  817. Because you watch the Food Network for recipes.
  818. Because you really can’t deal with Karen right now.
  819. Because you don’t feel like going to the grocery store.
  820. Because you do feel like going to the grocery story but still want to wait it out.
  821. Because the hotdogs are gone.
  822. Because you wish the hotdogs were gone.
  823. Because hotdogs get on your nerves.
  824. Because you get on hotdogs’ nerves?
  825. Because you’re as mad about the hotdogs as the whole Dumbledore situation.
  826. Damn you, Dumbledore.
  827. Because some golf should be on, right?
  828. Because you’re still trying to figure out “The Sopranos” finale.
  829. Because you have a theory that if you fast forward quickly enough through “Laguna Beach” Season 3, you’ll go back in time, and it’ll be like it never happened.
  830. Because you wish “Jersey Shore” never did that season in Italy.
  831. Because “Camp Rock.”
  832. Because “Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam.”
  833. Because “Camp Rock” is almost out of jam.
  834. Because “Flavor of Love.”
  835. Because the “Flavor of Love” spinoff “I Love New York.”
  836. Because the “I Love New York” spinoff “Real Chance of Love.”
  837. Because the second season of “Real Chance of Love” called “Real Chance of Love 2: Back in the Saddle.”
  838. Because “Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.”
  839. Because sometimes you’re just “So Raven.”
  840. Because sometimes you’re just not “So Raven.”
  841. Because Mario Lopez hosted that show called “Pet Star,” and you had to get up really early to watch it. And it had dogs that could like almost skateboard.
  842. Because no one remembers “The Famous Jett Jackson.”
  843. Because you’re breaking down old footage of “Even Stevens” to see where Shia went wrong.
  844. Because Late Night Wars.
  845. Because “Imma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time!”
  846. Because you’re a Pokémon Master.
  847. Because you need to know why those “Housewives” were so “Desperate.”
  848. Because you got caught up in that damn map song on “Dora the Explorer.”
  849. Because you think “Diego” is a “Dora” wannabe.
  850. Because you told someone you think “Dora” is “A-dora-ble.” They didn’t react how you wanted them to.
  851. Because you learn life lessons from “The Wiggles.”
  852. Because you can’t figure out how the letter “A” got all that damn money to sponsor “Sesame Street.”
  853. Same for “B.”
  854. Same for “C.”
  855. Same for “D.”
  856. Same for “E.”
  857. Same for “F.”
  858. Same for “G.”
  859. Same for “H.”
  860. Same for “I.”
  861. Same for “J.”
  862. Same for “K.”
  863. Same for “L.”
  864. Same for “M.”
  865. Same for “N.”
  866. Same for “O.”
  867. Same for “P.”
  868. Same for “Q.”
  869. Same for “R.”
  870. Same for “S.”
  871. Same for “T.”
  872. Same for “U.”
  873. Same for “V.”
  874. Same for “W.”
  875. Same for “X.”
  876. Same for “Y.”
  877. Because you can understand for “Z.” That letter has a lot of Bitcoin.
  878. Because you wonder why you don’t have a lot of Bitcoin.
  879. Because what the hell is Bitcoin?
  880. Because if Ben Franklin tied a Bitcoin to the end of a kite string, he would have discovered the Internet.
  881. Because that’s what Al Gore did, right?
  882. Because there’s a show called “Buying Naked” that you just can’t watch when your parents are in the room.
  883. Because you watched the video tape from “The Ring,” and then someone called you, but your phone died and they didn’t leave a message, so now you need to watch it again and hope they call back.
  884. Because taxes, right?
  885. Because you think “Teletubbies” is based on a true story.
  886. Because you really hope “Teletubbies” isn’t based on a true story.
  887. Because it’s time to figure out why up until the ’50s the world was in black and white.
  888. Because TV always “Cheers” you up.
  889. Because you really like using “Cheers” as a pun.
  890. Because you wonder if Ted Danson would appreciate that.
  891. Because your life is so like “The Mindy Project” that it’s not even funny.
  892. Because if Rachel Bilson can pull off being a doctor on “Hart of Dixie,” you’re sure as heck going to support her.
  893. Because you want to remember when “One Tree Hill” was still good.
  894. Because “One Tree Hill” was always good.
  895. Because you’re checking to see if “Lone Survivor” is On Demand yet.
  896. Because you’re checking to see if “Robocop” is On Demand yet.
  897. Because you’re checking to see if “Lego Movie” is On Demand yet.
  898. Because everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you’re part of a team.
  899. Because you’re checking to see if “Son Of God” is On Demand yet.
  900. Because you’re checking to see if “Endless Love” is On Demand yet.
  901. Because you hope no one knows you checked if “Endless Love” is On Demand yet.
  902. Because now you’re sitting in your house, paranoid that someone knows.
  903. Because you watch “Endless Love” and decide it was totally worth it.
  904. Because “2 Broke Girls” is a show.
  905. Because you like the Charlie Sheen “Two and a Half Men.”
  906. Because you like the Ashton Kutcher “Two and a Half Men.”
  907. Because “3rd Rock From The Sun” is a show.
  908. Because “8 Simple Rules” is a show.
  909. Because “According to Jim” is a show.
  910. Because “The Addams Family” is a show.
  911. Because “ALF” is a show.
  912. Because “Aliens In The Family” is a show.
  913. Because “American Dad!” is a show.
  914. Because “Angela Anaconda” is a show.
  915. Because “A.N.T. Farm” is a show.
  916. Because you watch “SportsCenter” for the first time today.
  917. Because you watch “SportsCenter” for the second time today.
  918. Because you watch “SportsCenter” for the third time today.
  919. Because you watch “SportsCenter” for the fourth time today.
  920. Because you realize it’s been the same episode of “SportsCenter” for the past 4 hours.
  921. Because you watch “SportsCenter” for the fifth time today.
  922. Because “Firefly” is a show.
  923. Because “Firefly” is a show that needs to come back.
  924. Because “The Bernie Mac Show” is a show.
  925. Because “The Beverly Hillbillies” is a show.
  926. Because you watch “SportsCenter” for the sixth time today.
  927. Because TV is your life.
  928. Because you think you might be in “The Truman Show” right now.
  929. Because “Bewitched” is a show.
  930. Because “The Big Bang Theory” is a show.
  931. Because Sheldon Cooper is the man.
  932. Because “Big Time Rush” is a show and a band, and you wish you didn’t know the second part of that.
  933. Because “The Bill Engvall Show” is a show.
  934. Because “Blossom” is a show.
  935. Because “Bob’s Burgers” is a show.
  936. Because “Bosom Buddies” is a show.
  937. Because you realize Tom Hanks is a great actor.
  938. Because you think Tom Hanks might be your favorite actor.
  939. Because you realize T. Hanks looks like “Thanks.”
  940. Because you want to tell T. Hanks thanks for being an actor.
  941. Because there’s a “Star Trek: The Next Generation” Marathon on BBC.
  942. Because there’s a “America The Story Of Us” marathon on History.
  943. Because “Seinfeld” was groundbreaking.
  944. Because shovels are groundbreaking.
  945. Because “The Brady Bunch” is a show.
  946. Because you look on your DVR for the episode where Marcia gets hit in the nose.
  947. Because you find it and rewind it a few too many times.
  948. Because “Brothers and Sisters” is a show.
  949. Because “California Dreams” is a show.
  950. Because “Caroline in the City” is a show.
  951. Because “Clueless” is a show.
  952. Because “Coach” is a show.
  953. Because “Community” is a show again.
  954. Because you wish you could go to Greendale Community College for real.
  955. Because actually you don’t wish that.
  956. Because “Cory in the House” is a show.
  957. Because “Cougar Town” is a show.
  958. Because “Crash & Bernstein” is a show.
  959. Because “Dharma & Greg” is a show.
  960. Because “Diff’rent Strokes” is a show.
  961. Because sometimes you confuse Arnold and Webster, so you like watching “Diff’rent Strokes” to keep things straight.
  962. Because “What you talkin’ bout Willis?”
  963. Because “Dinosaurs” is a show.
  964. Because “Doogie Howser, M.D.” is a show.
  965. Because “The Drew Carey Show” is a show.
  966. Because “Ed, Edd n Eddy” is a show.
  967. Because “The Ellen Show” is a show.
  968. Because “Everybody Hates Chris,” but everybody loves his show.
  969. Because “The Facts of Life” is a show.
  970. Because “Family Guy” is a show.
  971. Because “Family Matters” is a show.
  972. Because “Family Ties” is a show.
  973. Because “Flight of the Conchords” is a show.
  974. Because “The Flintstones” is a show.
  975. Because “The Flying Nun” is a show.
  976. Because “The Fosters” is a show.
  977. Because “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” is a show.
  978. Because you remember every word of the “Fresh Prince” theme song.
  979. Because “This is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.”
  980. Because “What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV!”
  981. Because “What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?”
  982. Because “I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.”
  983. Because “Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks!”
  984. Because “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”
  985. Because “Who you gonna call?”
  986. Because “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?”
  987. Because “Are you ready for some footballllll!”
  988. Because you’re too hungover.
  989. Because you’re not hungover enough.
  990. Because there’s no ice cubes at the party.
  991. Because there’s no Ice Cube at the party.
  992. Because you survived Y2K.
  993. Because you don’t know what Y2K is.
  994. Because freedom is spelled with 7 letters.
  995. Because united we stand. Divided we “Falling Skies.”
  996. Because “I have a ‘Dream Girls.’”
  997. Because the only thing to fear is fear itself … and if your favorite show gets cancelled.
  998. Because liberty and “Justified” for all.
  999. Because God bless “America’s … Got Talent.”
  1000. Because “Oh, say can you CNN.”

Reasons 1001 – 1776. Because America.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Andi Sends 2 Guys Home on The Bachelorette, Karen’s Scandalous New Job on Mistresses and More OMG TV Moments

The Bachelorette, Andi, NickThe Bachelorette: Tonight we dealt a bit with the Nick drama of last week. Don’t remember? Basically, Nick was being a cocky jerk, and he made quite a few enemies among the other guys. While…

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Sandra Bullock’s Alleged Stalker Accused of Stashing Weapons at Home, Pleads Not Guilty to Gun Possession

Sandra Bullock, OscarsThe man who broke into Sandra Bullock’s home recently was charged with possessing an arsenal of weapons, including a half dozen machine guns, the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s…

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What An Organized Person Thinks When They Enter Your Home

Everyone has that person in their life who takes their organization just a little too far for your comfort. Maybe it’s your friend without kids or even your mother-in-law — whoever it is you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into when you go visit them. But what happens if they go to your place?

As the self-proclaimed poster child for organization, I’ll break it down for you…

What You Think I Think: I could never live like this.
What I Actually Think: I wish I could live like this.

Am I proud of my organization habit? Sure, or I certainly wouldn’t be a self-proclaimed organization editor. Do I take it too far? Absolutely. In fact, I am jealous of you for embracing your clutter and coming to terms with the fact that the world will not end if you go to sleep when there are dirty dishes in the sink.

dirty dish in sink

What You Think I Think: This would look so much better if…
What I Actually Think: I wonder if they have wine or I should have brought some over.

While I may look at my own stack of reading material and wonder if it is at a 45 or 90-degree angle on the coffee table, I don’t care if your magazines are so strewn about that we cannot even see the carpet or that you have books stacked out of size order in a leaning tower. I am at your home to spend time with you, not to critique it.

book piles

What You Think I Think: I hope they don’t mind if I start casually reorganizing.
What I Actually Think: I’m happy to help, but I’ll only do it if you ask!

If you invite me over as a guest, I am a guest. If you invite me over as an organizing expert, I am an organizing expert — simple as that. The roles do not overlap, and if you do want some help, chances are I will set up a separate time to dig deeper into whatever you want to accomplish in your space. At the end of the day, whether you believe it or not, dusting and color-coding are not always on my mind (but they definitely could be if you ask for assistance in those arenas).


What You Think I Think: And your cups don’t match because…
What I Actually Think: Can I have more wine?

This is a trickier one, only because I did graduate college and have just about zero desire to drink wine out of an oversized frat mug or a red plastic cup. That being said, it’s really alright if you didn’t order the fabulous new One King’s Lane wine glasses or made an effort to replace the now-mismatched sets you’ve broken. My cups match because I am a 45-year-old housewife at heart; yours don’t because you embrace the fact that you’re 25-years-old and don’t have a dishwasher.

assorted glasses

What You Think I Think: Why didn’t they clean up before I came over?
What I Actually Think: Thank goodness they didn’t clean up for me.

If anything, it makes me uncomfortable when you clean just for me. In my mind, it says that you think I am overbearing and judgmental enough that I would care that much about your organization game. In other words, please stop forcing stuff in your closet and jamming your clothes in your drawers because you think it will make me feel better.

messy closet

What You Think I Think: Next time, let’s go to my place.
What I Actually Think: Next time, I’ll definitely remember more wine.

If I avoided every place that wasn’t up to my organization standards, I would be missing out on some of the best dive bars New York City had to offer, I would be avoiding some of my best friends for an absurd reason and I would have broken up with my ex a lot sooner. I am a home editor at work, and I am a houseguest when I leave the office. It would be work to worry about anything else but cocktail hour and your company.

wine tray

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Pittsburgh Rapper Hardo Welcomed Home By T.I. And Mac Miller After Beating Drug Charges

By Maurice Bobb Wilkinsburg rapper Hardo is finally back home after he was found not guilty Monday morning (June 9) of drug charges after appearing before a Common Pleas judge for a nonjury trial. Hardo, who is affiliated with rap stalwarts Mac Miller and T.I., was arrested August 30, 2013 and charged with possession with… Read more »

Dr. Dre Lists Hollywood Hills Home for $35 Million

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Conservatives Have Hilariously Forgotten How Badly They Wanted Bergdahl Home

Radio producer and collector of social media hypocrisy Matt Binder has tapped into a new Twitter goldmine: conservatives apparently forgetting their adamant support for bringing captured Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl home at any cost.

These conservatives tweeted for years about Bergdahl, urging leaders to leave no man behind. But when President Barack Obama’s administration succeeded in doing just that, their messages about the soldier took quite a different turn.

Here are some of the funniest backtracks Binder found (read the tweets from the bottom up):

Click over to Binder’s Twitter feed for more.

While conservative Twitter’s Bergdahl backlash is unquestionably over the top, Republican lawmakers have also changed their tune on America’s only prisoner of war in Afghanistan. As The Huffington Post’s Amanda Terkel and Sam Stein reported Tuesday, GOP lawmakers upset with Obama for releasing five Taliban detainees from Guantanamo Bay in exchange for Bergdahl repeatedly urged the administration to do everything they could do to bring him home.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Burglars Steal Jewelry And Luxury Car From Miley Cyrus’ Home

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Los Angeles police are searching for a pair of burglars they say broke into Miley Cyrus’ San Fernando Valley home and got away with jewelry and a luxury car.

The LAPD says officers from the department’s North Hollywood station responded to a report of a burglary Friday at Cyrus’ home. They say a man and a woman scaled a fence and got inside the house and garage while no one was home.

A 2014 Maserati luxury sedan and an unspecified amount of jewelry were taken.

Police asked Sunday that anyone with information about the crime call North Hollywood’s burglary detectives.

Last month the 21-year-old pop star obtained a temporary restraining order against an Arizona man who was detained by police while trying to meet her.
Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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A Letter Home: A Conversation with Neil Young


A Conversation with Neil Young

Mike Ragogna: Neil, your new album A Letter Home, might be the most personal album of your career. You recorded singer-songwriter classics that are dear to you with an old Voice-o-Graph recording booth that was popular during the forties and fifties. What inspired you to take this approach?

Neil Young: Well, I was visiting with my friend Jack [White] in Nashville and we were using his studio for a Willie Nelson tribute that we did for Willie’s birthday. Jack and I share a love of gizmos. We like mechanical things. So Jack was showing me some of his old gizmos and at the same time he was recording. People were coming and recording on the booth because it’s like from the state fair or something so people used to make records and send them to their friends, you’d put in a quarter or whatever and be able to record a record and send it. It was kind of like the email and voice mail of the day. So he was showing me this and people were coming in and making records, and the limit of the duration is two minutes and twenty seconds. I was working with it, and I put something down on it, just a little bit of song that I’d written or something. I listened to it back and I said, “Okay…all right! Why don’t I make an album on this thing?” He said, “Yeah, we can make an album!” I said, “Give me a little time to think of what it is,” but I’d also been working in the back of my mind on a roots project–”roots” being, “Where did I come from? What made me who I am? What music has effected me over the years? What feelings have I gotten from music that really made a difference? Where did the music that I love come from? What did it sound like?”

As all of this was percolating in the back of my mind, Jack was recording on his little machine that he has and I thought, “Ah, this all comes together for me.” So that’s when the idea came to do the album. It took me three months to locate the right songs and learn them and transcribe the lyrics. So I would find the lyrics somewhere and I would copy them out by hand, because that’s the way I remember things really well, as well as I do remember things, which is not that well, but that’s another subject for another time, probably the medical part of Huffington Post. But anyway, I did that and I created this record just singing those songs. I had a list of songs and I went in with Jack three months later after I had compiled the right list of songs that I really believed in and I practiced and I learned the chords really got used to what the little intricacies of the songs were. There are some great songwriters here. It’smore of a tribute to songwriting and to those folks that wrote those songs and to the art of singing a song and having it be what it is instead of it being a big production. So that’s kind of what it is.

MR: You cover a couple of Willie Nelson songs, Gordon Lightfoot songs, a Tim Hardin song… These are all songs that resonated with you strongly, right?

NY: Oh yeah, that’s the only reason I do them. They have to resonate with me personally in my life and what I believe and how I feel, on a personal level and on world levels. “On The Road Again” is kind of a world-level song for me. It’s like, “Yes, I love this, this is how I feel, I’m that kind of guy, I AM that guy.” Then there are other songs in there that are extremely personal and loving songs that are about relationships and my life at the time. I was living those songs, so they all work for me.

MR: There are songs on this album that seem to relate to other periods of your life or even other songs you recorded. For instance, “Needle Of Death,” “Needle And The Damage Done,” of course, comes to mind.

NY: Yeah, and “Ambulance Blues,” which is another song that I wrote is based on Bert Jansch’s “Needle Of Death,” it’s almost the same chords, you can see how I copped all the changes, I was so influenced by him I basically rewrote his song with a different theme. That’s the folk process, which is something that some people are still into. I am, so it means a lot to me.

MR: Over the years, when you wrote for your various albums, were you inspired by some of these songs?

NY: Oh yeah. These songs meant a lot to me, the feelings in these songs, more than maybe the style–with the exception of Bob [Dylan]‘s songs, of course, which I was extremely influenced by. I was mostly influenced by the sentiments in the songs and by the inner feelings in songs and the way they resonated with me and my own life and how I felt, the oneness with the writers of these songs.

MR: I know your mother passed and this is basically a “letter” to her. If this letter had been sent home a little earlier, what do you think the reply would have been?

NY: Oh, she would’ve liked it. She would’ve loved it, just the fact that I was communicating and it was for her. I didn’t plan that thing. Jack told me, “You know, they used to send messages on these records. It wasn’t always just music, there’d be a message.” Rather than write a letter, because maybe some people couldn’t write, they used these recordings to say what they thought and send a message. So that’s how that worked.

MR: You show the essence of the song with these recordings, it doesn’t rely on technology or production values for its level of quality. It interesting how popular music has progressed in the exact opposite direction, relying more on technology than ever before.

NY: I have deviated now and then on different projects, but for me, it’s mostly about the feeling and the performance. If you’re talking about the performance of the song and getting the feeling out, there’s no reason to even listen to it after you’re done if you felt it when you sang it. If I feel it when I sing it and I go, “I did it, that’s it, that’s how I feel, that’s what I did and that’s what the song meant to me, I got the message out,” then I don’t even have to hear it. I don’t care what it sounds like because I’ll never be able to do it as good as that again, so it doesn’t matter. I just move on. The whole idea of a singer-songwriter singing the song from the heart, singing a song that means something to them and actually singing a song that’s good enough to stand up on its own without any accoutrements, without any production, without any machines supporting it, without any formulated beats, without any computer making sure that all the rhythms are justified so that everything is perfect, you take all those things away and put a great song there with a great performance, even if it’s not by the greatest vocalists in the world or the greatest guitar player or instrumentalist in the world, if that person is believing what they’re singing and it’s truly there and the song is great and the song is written from a real place, then the song’s going to resonate with anybody who wants to listen to it.

MR: Neil, it’s also interesting that your PONO system celebrates the audiophile approach, the other extreme of what you did with this project.

NY: Well, it does. It celebrates something else. This project, released through PONO, will be clearer than anything anyone’s heard of this project. Even if it’s the vinyl version of this project where you can hear the clicks and pops and surface noise, the sound of it will be more. In the digital realm, copying this song and playing it back on PONO will be clearer than anything anyone’s ever heard, with more depth than ever before and with more of the emotions of the song revealed than they got the first time because there’s just more there. When you’re dealing with feelings and you’re dealing with the ears, which are clearly the window to the soul–there’s nothing like the ears, everything else is pretty well surface, although smelling is good, but visualization is mostly just a temporary rush. Feeling from the soul, coming in through the ears, that’s what PONO’s all about. It reveals everything that the song has to offer, everything that the original recording of the song contains is revealed and PONO will be a revolution for music as far as being able to actually enjoy it. It’s for music lovers. It’s for people who really enjoy listening to music because finally, they will get what they deserve. It will a revolution for those people.

MR: You’re still very passionate about the PONO.

NY: Well, I’ve put a great deal of my time into it because I feel that the art of the recorded sound is the history of music and everything needs to be preserved in a way that it’s worthy of.

MR: Do you think there will be more letters home? Are you intrigued to do more of these kinds of projects?

NY: You know, the future’s a huge, gigantic place. I have no idea what’s going on out there, I’m just going to walk into it and see what happens.

MR: Well you are the master of the creative process. Do you have any advice for people who want to pursue those kinds of paths?

NY: They just have to do what they feel like doing and not listen to anybody else.

MR: Is there any guidance that these future artists might need?

NY: Inner guidance. Listen to yourself. Everybody’s got their own.

MR: Cool. Is there anything in your near future that we also should be excited about?

NY: I hope so! I don’t know what it is, but I’d say, “Better be ready for it.”

Transcribed By Galen Hawthorne
Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Clay Aiken’s primary opponent dies at his home

NC entrepreneur in close primary with ‘Idol’ singer Clay Aiken dies at home in possible fall
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